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  As the snow starts retreating and the roads begin to clear many thoughts turn to getting the MC's ready for the upcoming runs. Mine sat dormant in the back of the garage for 3 months before I finally started work on it yesterday. Nothing major 'cause the economy has put a crimp on that one. Plus I like simplicity. The cleaner look the better. Unlike some "krom" heads I know (sorry Croppie). Anyway, it brings back to mind a Viet Nam Vet Twister run my brother, Croppie, me and another felon went on once. It almost ended with 3 of us returning.

  The 4th of our trio, whom I'll call DA, came up tp Birnamwood in his truck camper with little brudder. Me and Croppie were already there and feeling no pain. So we're ambling around the grounds checking out the general weirdness and tits waiting on the dynamic twosome. So we're waiting and drinking and drinking and wondering. A number of calls got no response and we're starting to worry ourselves sober which sucked. It's getting later in the festivities and still no click and clunk. 'What the fuck' we're thinking and saying. 

  Can't remember what time it was (it was dark, that I recall) but they finally showed up. DA gets out of the truck and rubber-legs to us. Lil bro gets out of the passenger side of the truck, slamming the door with such force it almost welds itself shut from the heat generated and flies over to DA. Grabbing DA by the shirt he proceeds to trhow him into the truck thereby rocking a 3/4 ton truck with an 11' camper on it to the point of almost going on it's side. It was then the Croppie and I figured something was amiss. My family's youngest son had a look on his face that woulda made a Marine Drill Instructor proud. I figure he had abpout 79% of the blood in his body in his face, it was that red. 

  Before he could commence dismantling DA we figured we better have an excuse for the cops as to why the body was unrecognizeable from roadkill. While I somehow managed to pry bro's vise-like grip from DA' s very wrinkled collar Croppie was able to spit out "where the fuck were you two?'. DA was just smilin' and laughing which didn't do a lot for baby brudder's disposition at the time. Finally he said 'drinkin'. Well, no shit sherlock. We kinda guessed that from the heavy whiskey smell still pouring from the open drivers door killing the grass as it fell. 'Where were you drinkin' we asked knowing that two questions in a row like that coulda caused DA's "brain" to melt down fairly quickly. But it was instinct.

  (You're gonna love this) 'At a bar' he goes. The guys' a genius, even drunk. Well my other physical half was up to about 87% blood in his face by now and starting to push me back into DA despite all the sod my feet were diggin' up trying to stay in one spot. DA just kept this goofy alcohol grin on his face which didn't help King Kong's dispostion at all.

  Finally Bro said 'this ASSHOLE (which caused partial deafness in one ear of everyone within 10 fett of us) kept going back to the same bars over and over. That's why we were so fuckin' late". Seems DA had a thing that night for hitting every bar on the way up...two or more times. Despite his oversized passengers pointed suggestions, threats and subtle innuendos (i''ll kill you if we don't get going now) DA continued on his merry pickled way regardless of concern for seeing another sunrise.  Soon he evidently reached his safe driving skills level cut-off point and decided to set course for their original destination, fortunately for him as his co-driver was well past any kind of safe rationality level.

  We did get the siamese twins unhooked from the chest area that night and made full use of the festivities. Fortunately the tittie contest was always going on so we didn't miss too much. Never saw DA ther rest of the night (few hours?) which was OK with all concerned. Just didn't need the Vets' security to "escort" us to the main gate. That woulda been undignified.

  Finally saw DA the next day and he looked worse than Arizona summertime roadkill. I just smiled. Unfrotunately, walking into the back of his camper while taking some video I was met with a lower bowel meltdown. It came at me like the tent pole from the night before. Mygod was it bad. In WW2 it was outlawed 'cause it was inhumane. And this gasbag created it naturally! The tape in the camera was yellowing. And he just smiled.

  We all lived through the weekend and DA never showed up at the Twister after that. We hit a few more but it started getting to be routine. Same faces, same bands, same tits. The Twister is still going on and if you've never been to one we highly suggest you go. Be it on 2 wheels or 4 it's a good time but be ready for a large turnout. It's gotten bigger since the 3rd annual (our 1st trip). 500 people then and roughly 3000+ now. Besides, it's for a great cause. Bring your bike or camper or car. If your money is green and in the right amount, you're in. Being a DA is your option and free.