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I'm thankful

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 13:14:00 -0500

1) For waking up every day. That means I have another chance to make friends, act as a mentor, lend an ear, lend a shoulder or whatever is needed from me.

2) For a (sometimes dysfunctional) family who give me love, support and a good laugh. They're there when I need them and there if I don't.

3) For my co-workers who, despite being a pain in the ass provide me with camaraderie and support in an insane environment sometimes/ They share glimpses into their otherwise guarded lives as do I. This shows we're all in this dinghy together no matter where we end up in the stream.

3) For those whose brief time in my life has left an indelible mark. To Cisco, John. Buck, Doc, Jeffrey and others whose names are locked in my memory, I thank you for your short visit in my life. You left me lessons, positive and not, that I put in my life tool kit.

4) For the CMA Riders who've provided more than a great annual ride and good fellowship. They've awoken a side of me I've alway knew was there but considered not my thing. It is.

5) For my grandson who can wear the crap out of me physically and emotionally but recharges me when he says "I love you, Bompa".

6) For being able to enjoy my passion for riding. Ever since I rode that old scooter of my uncles around the yard I never looked back (except in the mirrors).

7) For God granting me a short time with Tom. We never really connected in a heart to heart way but we sure shared some real memories. I never realized how much he really meant to me till he left us. It was unfortunate he was denied children but in retrospect it was a blessing. See ya some day, Bro!

8) For being able to spend over 34 years with the same lady. It's been rough at times but I wouldn't trade it for anything. neither of us are easy to get along with. Like I've said, we're AC and DC, AM and FM, oil and water. But we still seem to manage. Love ya, Babe!

9) For kids who seemed tailored to my life. Sarah, the princess and the oldest, has been a steading influence. Angie, who's been a trying situation, is my emotional crutch. Brennan or BJ as he's called, is the apple of Dads eye (as well as balancing out the family ratio). They all have their strong points as well as weaknesses and I like to think I help with those sometimes.

10) For those who will soon enter my life. maybe stay, maybe just visit, maybe leave as fats as they arrive. But I'm sure they'll all leave something of value for me. Then I can pay it forward.

To all who read this I wish for you to realize who's important in your life and take time to thank them for their influence. Also thank God (or not if you wish) for giving you a chance every day to enjoy what you have.

Runnin' outta time

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 14:33:00 -0400

If you depress easily or can't take life's realities, stop reading and go do something else. I'll be yakking about what little time we have left here on earth and how we use it.

Saw Bobo, a real good friend of mine, yesterday. He'd just come from a friends' funeral and we were talking about how we've both lost mutual friends and family members. We go back a long ways and share some pretty good times. We both share the belief that everyday is a gift and should be used to the best of our abilities. Neither of us think nothing of doing what strikes our fancy. Be it going on a road trip or just sitting outside watching the world go by. We're not barflies any more so our circle is quite small. We can count on one hand, outside of family, those people who still mean a lot to us. People who have deep ties to us. People who we'd want to deliver our eulogy, be a pallbearer, or be genuinely happy to see when we're on our last legs. These are folks we'd help in a heartbeat with no questions asked nor favors returned. These are the people who make up our core.

Unforunately we're starting to see some of them passing on before their time. Ususally we find this out in the obits too late. We'll visit their family in the usual way, at the local funeral home. Glad hand a few, hug the family and say the required things ("he sure looks natural"). He's dead! How can you look natural with a Tammy Fay baker facial? Geeze. Dressed in a suit or something other than what you wore that defined you. My brother was laid out in a fucking suit. He only wore something like that at his or a sibs wedding. He was happiest when he had jeans and flannel shirts and was hunting something. My uncle was sent off with his work clothes, a 6 pack of beer, a Readers Digest and cigars. That's who he was. Me, I want a biker t-shirt, jeans and my leather vest. That's me.

Death is a taboo subject to us. We avoid it like a gonna-get-the-shits-after-eating-this meal. We can't face our own mortality. We spend huge amounts of money to follow guidelines on how we're supposed to look and be presented as well as how our remains will be disposed of. No, we're gonna live forever...somehow. Exercise, good diets, vitamins and whatever they're hawking that we can ill afford. We try and avoid the subject as much as possible. We'd rather talk about anything else but that! But when we finally reach that point when we realize it's gonna happen then it's the only thing we want to deal with. Everything else is bullshit. We will die leaving our loved ones and true friends to remember us in their own way. Other who were co-workers and aquaintences will deal with our departure in other ways. They'll share work/personal experiences and remember us for our interaction rather than who we truly were. Only through our loved ones and true friends will we continue to live on.

This rant is probably a bit disorganized but I've never been known to be able to stay on one thought foe too long much less stringing a cognizant conversation together. But I'm sure you get the idea by now.

Value what you have in friends and family while you can. Money can buy a lot of distractions. But it can't buy love and true friendship. You gotta earn them and really work at nurturing them. Only then, when your time comes, will you be able to pass on knowing you made a difference. Or as Bobo says made your mark in the world.

Flyin' By

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 11:35:00 -0400

Haven't been here for a while so the site has got stale. Not that it was interesting from the git go but hey, like it says on the cover.

Trying to cram a lot of riding into this year. Can't explain it but I just feel the need to go. Went to Madison last Sunday just for the day to meet some of the Road Star Project members. Put on 230 miles that day. More than I've done in a month. Usually put on, if I'm not working, at least 50 to 80 miles a day just for shit's and giggles. But this year I feel the urge to just pound it every chance I get. maybe It's God sayin' "C'mon. c'mon. hurry it up here. We're on a schedule". :roll: Gotta go now. The bike's cooling off.

But you didn't see me...

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 18:55:47 -0400

Sent from a Soldier in Iraq:

I saw you pull your child closer when we passed each other on the sidewalk.
But you didn't see me playing Santa at the local mall.
I saw you change your mind about going into the restaurant.
But you didn't see me attending a meeting to raise more money for the hurricane relief.
I saw you roll up your window and shake your head when I drove by.
But you didn't see me driving behind you when you flicked your cigarette butt out the car window.
I saw you frown at me when I smiled at your children.
But you didn't see me when I took time off from work to run toys to the homeless.
I saw you stare at my long hair.
But you didn't see me and my friends cut ten inches off for Locks of Love.
I saw you roll your eyes at our leather coats and gloves.
But you didn't see me and my brothers donate our old coats and gloves to those that had none.
I saw you look in fright at my tattoos.
But you didn't see me cry as my children where born and have their name written over and in my heart.
I saw you change lanes while rushing off to go somewhere.
But you didn't see me going home to be with my family.
I saw you complain about how loud and noisy our bikes can be.
But you didn't see me when you were changing the CD and drifted into my lane.
I saw you yelling at your kids in the car.
But you didn't see me pat my child's hands, knowing he was safe behind me.
I saw you reading the newspaper or map as you drove down the road.
But you didn't see me squeeze my wife's leg when she told me to take the next turn.
I saw you race down the road in the rain.
But you didn't see me get soaked to the skin so my son could have the car to go on his date.
I saw you run the yellow light just to save a few minutes of time.
But you didn't see me trying to turn right
I saw you cut me off because you needed to be in the lane I was in.
But you didn't see me leave the road.
I saw you waiting impatiently for my friends to pass.
But you didn't see me. I wasn't there.
I saw you go home to your family.
But you didn't see me. Because, I died that day you cut me off.
I WAS JUST A BIKER. A person with friends and a family. But you didn't see me.

Priorities

Sun, 24 May 2009 10:39:27 -0400

Seems like every time I hop on the bike to go for a ride I start thinking "will this be my last ride?". I ride with a generous amount of paranoia as it's kept me upright and safe for a long time. But I also think about the other facets of my life that are important to me. My family is a top priority. Parents, siblings, Sue and the kids, they're all sharing the top spot in my life. I realize that some day I'll be meeting up with Tom and won't have the physical interaction I enjoy now. So it's become important to connect as much as possible with those around me, in a positive way, and show them that they are very important to me. Be it family, friends or even a stranger, showing them that someone gives a shit about them enriches both our lives.
My grandson is truly a reason to stick around. Dakota comes up with some of the goofiest shit and never ceases to amaze us at his potential. If I ever fall into a situation where I need a reason to fight, he's it. Never thought of myself as Grandpa or "Bompa" as he calls me but it's a title I wear with honor. I'll probably have it etched on my headstone.
At this point in my life priorities I never gave a second thought to before are now my reason for waking up every day. "Too soon old, too late smart" as the saying goes. Maybe I'll have enough time to enjoy them more.

40 years later

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 19:26:00 -0400

Attended my 40th class reunion last night. It was held at the Lazy Dog Sports bar in Kaukauna (shameless plug here). Was pleasantly surprised at the turnout mostly because some of the attendees I haven't seen since graduation. One common factor we all shared was almost instant recognition of each other. Another was our age but I won't dwell on that. It was great looking through the handout and finding out where we were all at in this stage of our lives. Some were closing in on retirement, most weren't. Most have grand kids a few didn't. Some played marriage roulette, most didn't. But everyone was happy to enjoy the time spent together.

Some of our classmates however have passed on and we remembered them as we last knew them. never really got to know Tom. From the little contact we had he seemed kind of laid back almost to the point of shy. Guess it's my loss. John was a real jovial kind of guy with a rare sense of humor. He was pretty outgoing and great to hang with. Lenny was a bit shy. But he was a damn good fabricator. Ran into him at a bar once a long time ago. He was putting together a chopper at the time. Only wish I could have seen it. It was probably an award winner. The Sharon I knew was quiet in high school. She never really belonged to a group. She had her friends and just went about her business. Maybe someone can shed more light on this dark haired lady. In my mind I can still see them in the halls going to class, stopping to chat or sharing a part of ourselves quietly by the lockers.

I had hoped a couple people from my past would be there but I guess they had other plans. If they read this they'll know who they are. Here's a hint. One is a classy lady and one is a guy I created an embarrassing moment for.

About it for now. I guess we'll have to see about a 45th. Till then, God willing, I'll continue to wake up each day and go from there.

40 Years!???

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 09:56:53 -0400

Attended my 40th class reunion last night at the Lazy Dog in Kaukauna (BTW you gotta check this place out. It's really nice). After attending the 35th I noticed a lot of "new" faces that I'd not seen then. Conversely some from the 35th weren't there. Must be a 'your turn' thing. Though I didn't get to talk with a lot of my classmates it was great just to see them. I must say I recognized more of the ladies than I did the guys. For some reason the ladies seem to hold on to that youth quality that makes them recognizeable to friends at any age. The guys, well we seem to lack something in our genetic footprint that retains any semblance of our hey days. Must be due to marriage or something (just shitting, ladies).
Anyway I noticed last night that some social situations never change even since "skool daze". Subconsciously I think we all displayed the same patterns we held in high school. We had our particular friends/groups and that was our life. As the night wore on those subtle patterns soon began to emerge. Certain people gravitated towards each other sometimes leaving their significant other or classmate to fend for themselves. I'm sure it wasn't intentional but deep seated habits are a bitch to break.
To those who chose not to attend (not those who live way outside the area) for whatever reason not a problem Chances are someone last night noticed this and made a remark reflecting your absence and possibly added a reason of their own. Also chances are most people ignored it. That'll teach ya.
Then there are our classmates who have preceeded us in life's ultimate punch line. To John, Sharon, Tom, Lenny and others I probably don't have knowledge about, we will always remember you fondly. You will always be stuck in 1969 in our memories, Your laugh, mannerisms and everything that made you an individual will be forever etched in our hearts.
If any classmates by some strange chance get over to this minute speck of the web and read this blog, thank you for at least being curious.

Skool Daz

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 12:57:00 -0400

With my 40th class reunion coming at me like teen texting and driving at once I look forward to seeing faces from my youth. These might not be the ones I shared deep secrets with but they all occupy a wonderful time in my life. Regardless where your path may take you, your classmates are one of the few beacons in your life. There, I think I sucked up enough.

Really, I'm looking forward to seeing a lot of the guys and gals again. It doesn't seem like 40 years but once I step in front of a mirror I think "maybe 60?". :D We've all aged and aquired a few extra everything. But we're all still the same when it comes to common bonds from our youth. Some of those we shared good time with will, for whatever reason, not be there. Those who left us early in their lives will always be fondly remembered individually. Those who chose not to join us will be cannon fodder on that night. Just kidding...maybe.

Gonna make this short. I can always post a follow up once the reunion is over and I have more to work with. I'd like to thank Rita for trying to gather info on everyone. It's a time consuming job. I probably put down more than I should have but if the wife ain't kicked me out yet... The info might only make me sleep in the camper for a few nights. No biggie. Till then ride safe. cool

Someone I admire

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 10:59:00 -0500

What started out as a weekend of rafting has led my daughter Angie down a path of intense pain, a re-evaluation of her lifes priorities and a shitload of boredom and a forced hermit-like existence. Oh yeah and 4 surgeries to date.

On August 8th of 08 she, and some buddies, were camping out at a campground/rafting outlet. That night she went for a stroll to find a bathroom. In the dark it was a grope and hope situation. Well, so much for the hope. She caught her foot on a tree root. What happened next is kinda graphic but she ended up with a compound fracture just above the ankle. She fell down a 10 foot ravine with a lot of rocks at the bottom (low river level = exposed rocky terrain). It was REAL obvious to the paramedics. What they were betting on was if she'd even keep her foot later. At one point she kind of knew that there was a serious problem with her foot but just to what extent she was unsure. Later she found out.

After a 5 week hospital stay and 3 in a nursing facility, numerous calls to us, and me in the middle of the night at work crying because the pain meds weren't doing the job plus some real soul searching on her part, she finally was able to come home. Then the real fun began. In a hospital/nursing home environment you've got access to someone 24/7. At home you got you and whomever you can get to help. She's got one good leg to move around with, a leg that had pain of 7 or better on a 1 - 10 scale 24/7. She was taking medication that would bring down a horse for hours. Sleep was only a wish at this point. A coma would've done just fine however.

Through it all she's managed to remain optomistic. She still intends to be walking unaided by the anniversary date of the injury (8-8-08). She's managed to be a Mom to Dakota though we kept him at our place while she deals with the pain. She's had her 4th surgery to replace the hardware and get a bone graft. This gal has had her fair share of crap.

If you're wondering where my admiration comes into play it's in the conversations we've had since the incident. I've got 58 years behind me and some scars to prove it. She's aquired perspective at 27 that took me over twice as long to get. She ain't no philosopher or guru but her simple ways of looking a situations amazes me sometimes. Her objectivity probably comes from her re-evaluation while having nothing to do except bit a strip of leather and wait for the meds to kick in.

They say when you're down and out you'll make a deal with almost anyone (usually God) to help see you through. Once it's over you can reneg on the deal because you weren't in full control therefore didn't know what you were doing. At least that's how we see things. Angie isn't that kind of person . For a young gal her word is like a contract. Even if it's made with a spiritual situation. You can take her at her word and if something happens to endanger her word she'll be right on top of it openly and honestly. You can trust her.

I've dealt with all kinds of people. From high rollers to real trash. And I've found admirable people in the whole spectrum. I might be biased but I feel Angie belongs right up there at the top. You will too once you get to know her. She's one of my role models and I'm proud to be her Dad.

My riding partner(s)

Sat, 14 Feb 2009 21:46:37 -0500

Riding season will soon be on us before you know it and, believe me, my daughter Sarah and I are ready. Up until last year I pretty much rode solo which was okay but I needed someone who shared my passion for riding. That someone who'd get a leg over the saddle when they heard "let's ride" with no questions asked. turned out to be my oldest.
She'd packed behind me occasionally since she was 8. Always knew just how to lean into the corners and never flinched at some of the more loonier stunts I pulled (another blog). In 2007 on the Packerland ride she said "next year I'm riding next to you on my own bike". And I knew she meant it. So in Spring of 08 she started looking for HER bike. I got taken along to check them out and offer my opinion. I kinda figured that a novice rider should start out on a 650 or so. Nothing bigger. Boy was I wrong! After trying several 650's out for fit she found that the 1100 V-Star was more her liking. Now to find the right one.
She found it just a 1/4 mile from her apartment at Janssen's Motorsports. She called me one day and said I had to come out and see it. When I got there I could tell from the look on her face she'd found HER bike. It was a white 2004 1100. Something told me she wanted to make it hers before she even fired it up. After adding custom pipes, rejetting and a trip on the dyno it was hers. Now the fun started.
Being a novice rider she had to take the MSRF course to get her license and an insurance discount. Prior to that she had to familiarize herself with the new part of her life. And that's where Dad came in. She's driven a standard shift car before (I taught her in a car she was "interested" in buying but didn't. We just used it to get her acclimated to shifting. She done good) so a bike ain't much different except the controls are in different areas, right? Ya, right.
We practiced whenever I had some time in the parking area of her apartment complex. After getting used to the heft of the bike (550 lbs of dead weight) she fired it up. Prior to all this I had her pick up my bike (almost 800lbs) from the off-the-kickstand position on my front lawn. I figured she ought to learn to respect their weight from the get go. I let her pick it up how she wanted. She about threw out her back and a few other things trying. Then I showed her the right way. Proved to be not much easier for her but at least she knew how.
Well, starting out a bike and a stick shift 4 wheeler are two different animals in their reaction. A 4 wheeler will stay upright after throwing your grape around a bit. A 2 wheeler will do the same then try and lay down on your leg. Ususally the side with the (hot) pipes. Not good. You learn fast.
After a few jerky starts she got the clutch/gas thing down fairly well. But, because of the area we were working with she couldn't get it out of 1st too much. Plus she was still skittish about propelling that much steel and dumping it. I gotta say though she was persistant. She had one meltdown but she got right back on and just got better every time.
Soon she was taking it out in the neighborhood and into traffic with me tagging behind. Every time we got further and further away and got up more speed. One day she calls and says she went out on her own. Got it up into 3rd (?) gear and everything. She was real proud of that. It wasn't long before she was looking for an excuse just to ride (store for whatever).
From the 1st day she initially threw a leg over the bike to our first run together was not quite 3 1/2 months (she'll correct me if I'm off). since then we've gone on a run or two and shared the road as riding partners. She has no problem keeping up with me at 70. I just look over at her on the bike and beam with pride. She's got biker in her blood.
Her fiancee, Nate, took the riders course with her. They both passed easily for novices but Nate had an experience that even had the instructors wondering how he did it. That too, is another blog. Maybe I got yet another reason to be "biker" happy (besides having a great new son-in-law)?